More Sarah Palin Gossip (updated with more dirt)

On the eve of her speech to the Republican National Convention I hate to spread more rumors about Sarah Palin. However, this was just brought to my attention:

Death once had a near-Sarah Palin experience.

When Sarah Palin booked a flight to Europe, the French immediately surrendered.

Sarah Palin can divide by zero.

Global Warming doesn't kill polar bears. Sarah Palin kills polar bears, with her teeth.

Sarah Palin knows how old the Chinese gymnasts are.

Sarah Palin is the reason compasses point North.

Updated: Here's the latest dirt including "Environmental shocker: Palin's cat seen scratching claws on rare Alaskan pine tree ."