1. What does chastity mean? The simplest answer is refraining from sexual intercourse before marriage and then practicing fidelity during marriage.
2. Why should I practice chastity? Well, there are a whole lot of reasons including the often-overlooked spiritual values of purity. But here are a few specifics:
* You won't have to worry about an unplanned pregnancy, a very real prospect for the sexually active...even those who use various forms of "birth control." Birth control failure rates among American teens are almost 20%. Condoms fail in pregnancy prevention 18%-35% of the time.
* You'll be free of sexually transmitted disease. 33,000 people acquire an STD every day -- that's 12 million a year! And again, "safe sex" isn't all that safe. For instance, condoms are not effective in preventing you from contracting Chlamydia, HIV/AIDs, or the Human Papilloma-virus.
* You won't have to deal with the loss of self-respect, loss of innocence, worry, distractions from important life goals, guilt, a ruined reputation, exploitation...and no physical or emotional "damage control" problems to have to take with you into your marriage.
3. But what if I really love my boyfriend (or girlfriend)? Isn't having sex okay then? No; it isn't. True love is about commitment, serving and honoring the other person, seeking their very best. It is not exploitive. Nor is real love insistent on making momentary, risky, physical pleasure the goal of the relationship.
A couple dedicated to one another in marriage exemplify genuine love, a relationship that values one another's total personality (spirit, intellect, emotions, dreams and aspirations) and not only the physical.
4. How can I say "no" without losing my boyfriend (girlfriend)? Set your standards high and don't compromise. Realize too that the person who insists on having their way physically is not someone who has your best interests in mind. That's not love. Don't settle for less than you deserve.
5. I have already had sex. So I guess it's too late for me, right? No, not at all. It is never too late to begin doing the right things. You can always start over. And, as a Christian, I certainly would stress the availability of forgiveness and empowerment that comes from believing on Jesus Christ. No one was perfect except Jesus. And He paid your penalty and mine when He was crucified. A new start is what Christianity is all about and a practical application of that wonderful truth is that chastity is within our grasp today. Yesterday's sins and hassles don't need to enslave us.
Look at it this way. Say you've done something foolish and spent all the money in your savings account. Does that mean you can never start saving money again? Despite the seriousness of the loss, can't you start over from here? It is the same way with your sexual lifestyle. Whatever has happened before, realize it is time now to start "saving" again. Begin now to save sex for its intended purpose, a delightful, exciting, bonding experience you can share with your future spouse. And among the dividends of your "saving sex" for the right person and the right time are all the benefits to your health, your heart, your mind, and your true love mentioned above.




You know what kills me? People assume that if you're chaste, that it's just because you're a prude or not interested in sex. But people don't assume that if you're on a diet it's because you're a killjoy or not intereted in food. They recognize that you're exercising wisdom and discipline to put food in its proper context in your life. Why can't people understand doing the same thing with sex?
Check out this site www.secondaryvirginity.com. It is my site with tips on how to start over after you have fallen. I am compiling a book right now on this issue and on how to find freedom from the past. Email me if you have any questions.
Peace
James Berkon
Once Adam and Eve had tasted the apple in the garden of eden, there
was no going back. And so it is with Virginity. Once you lose your
virtue you can not reclaim it by proclaiming to be virtuous or chaste
or any other such thing.
It is hypocritical to think that you can first taste the forbidden
fruit for as long as you want, and then turn around and proclaim
that your are chaste or virtuous. There is no going back.