A reader from a similar background wrote to me:
Barbara, After our decision to try to have another baby, I started thinking and couldn't stop. I've never tried to have a baby before. There have been times when I didn't try not to have one, but that's not really the same. The memory of my abortion has really been haunting me lately. Sometimes I feel like I don't deserve another child because of it. I'm coming to the conclusion that I probably need counseling about this, and hoped you would provide some insight as to how to find the best counseling options.
In case any of you are dealing with similar issues, please read my answer, filling in the blank with your name:
Dear ___ -I should have written to you so much sooner, but I've been swamped.
First, let me just say that although we don't know each other in the traditional sense, you have been so honest and transparent I feel like I know you anyway - and God has given me a love for you like a mother for her little girl. Because of some of the similarities in our backgrounds and the desire we have to build a better family, I will always consider you my spiritual daughter.
I just want to tell you that God loves you and has already forgiven you for everything in your past - including your abortion. ____, like me, you didn't know any better. God knows that and all he cares about is that now we have given our lives to him and from that moment forward we are new creations.
What is that verse about how God has forgiven our sin - as far as the east is from the west. We are not the same women. We are free. We can become who he wants us to be.
The condemnation you feel is from the Great Accuser, Satan, who will use that to keep you from realizing your potential as a woman of God. If he can weigh you down with guilt and remorse, you will not be free. You will not be as effective as a wife and mother. Your ability to be used by God to accomplish great things through raising your family will be eroded.
____, I am praying so hard that you will hear through these words God's tender voice calling to you to accept his forgiveness and move on.
Yes, you can go to counseling, but maybe you really do not need it. After all, if Jesus could make the lame walk and the blind see, he surely has the power to completely restore fallen women like you and me.
I am here for you, ____. But if a sinner like me can be here for you, think how much more so God can be. He loves you and has a perfect plan for your life. Rejoice! Be not afraid! Let go of the past! We will meet ALL of our children in heaven, but until then we must devote ourselves to being the best mothers we can be for those on earth. With God's help, and each other's encouragement, we can! We will!
Love,
Barbara
I recommend a visit to There Is Hope After Abortion.
God bless,
Fredi